A funny opener is especially effective when you’re a man. Self-deprecation and humorous envy work; jokes against other people – not necessarily.
Why are humorous openers a good idea?
About 60% of singles are more likely to respond to a message if it’s funny, underscoring how humor can be a game-changer in online dating. Humor is an effective way to start a conversation because it’s unexpected and grabs attention. In a world where everyone is trying to impress, it’s an easy-going and effective approach, especially in the first few messages. A funny opener is especially impactful when you’re a man. Men dominate dating platforms. As of 2024, 67.4% of Bumble users and 76% of Tinder users are male.
Self-deprecation
Comedian David Michael says the key is to appeal to the recipient’s good nature. An easy way to do that is to make fun of yourself. Your match might relate, but if they don’t, they will at least laugh. Be careful not to cross the line between self-deprecation and low self-esteem. If you go on about how awful you are, they’ll start thinking you’re not joking.
Humorous envy
Talking about how it’s not fair for someone to be so gifted in a certain area will get a laugh and make them feel good about themselves. You can say, “Being this beautiful can’t be fair,” or “You’re gorgeous… and that’s why we’ll never be friends.” If the profile indicates your match has a successful career, you could write, “I’m impressed…being that good at what you do isn’t fair.”
The gamble
Humor is supposed to make people feel good, and it normally does. It’s an effective way to relieve stress, particularly valuable as an antidote to the additional anxiety reported by 50% of US adults during the coronavirus pandemic. Making someone feel more relaxed will lead them to prioritize their interactions with you over those with other people on the platform.
However, humor can also hurt, which will work against you. Jokes like, “Nice to finally meet someone that isn’t a loser on here,” may get the laugh, but if you consistently crack jokes against other people, it can leave a bad impression. There’s a fine line between being funny and being mean.
Why do people fail on dating platforms?
So be funny, like you would in real life. Dating platforms are about social interaction. The more a woman laughs at a man’s jokes, the more likely she is to want to date him. Humor also plays a role in strengthening and maintaining romantic relationships. Research reveals that it is a powerful tool people use to improve relationship quality.
Ending the interaction with humor
On a less lighthearted note, a new survey for the BBC found that 33% of dating app users had experienced abuse or harassment by someone on the platform. The survey included men and women aged 18-35.
If the conversation ends badly or goes nowhere, end the interaction with humor rather than anger or an expletive. This is something Tinder can help with. One of its safety features is an AI bot that detects offensive content and prompts users to reconsider sending the message.
